America, you have been so good to us over the many years
We have sample your many ladies (mm-hmmm)
And we have drank from your many lakes (tasty)
And now it's time for us to give thanks
Thank you, America -- for all you've done
America was formed in 1776
We kicked the ass of those British dicks
Not much happened 'til 2002
Then we hopped on a bus to meet all of you
Tourin' around from coast to coast
Sampling every diner's french toast
We seen a lot of place
We seen a lot of things
We ate at a lot of Burger Kings
A Burger King in Idaho got better fries
A Burger King down South don't serve black guys
Hung out with a hillbilly
Ate a cheesteak in Philly
Travelled to California where they filmed Free Willy
Been all around this great big land
And now it's time to give America a hand
[chorus]
Yo America, thanks for having us (etc.)
Down South they all say y'all
In Minneapolis they got the biggest mall (it's huge)
People in New York they curse a lot
Down in Utah the Mormons are really hot
You get to have like five wives
It's better than watching Days of our Lives
We've been to every Kohl's in the USA
But the one in Nebraska is seriously gay
Nebraska, who asked ya?
We don't give a damn about Nebraska
Nebraska, you bastard
We don't give a damn about Nebraska (etc.)
Uhhh.
Yo, TJ MAXXX, why don't you tell the fine people where we've been?
Yo, don't mind if I do
Phifty State Rap
[chorus]