I got the riggity riggity rhymes
All the tiggity tiggity times
Don't need no teleprompter
'Cuz it's all in my mind
And I got more beats than an abusive dad
And I'm writing the rhymes that you wish that you had
I'm the microphone passin'
Fat check cashin'
Master or the sucker, depending who you asking
People wanna hate me
Try and aggravate me
Say my rhymes but they still imitate me
Solid like Metal Gear - Liquid Snake
The rhymes I'm busting in your ear ain't no mistake
Every record that I cut is hot wax
And everybody knows I'm TJ MAXXX
[chorus]
I'm DJ TJ MAXXX
Smooth as Ex Lax
Pay my income tax
Play ball with Steve Sax
Beat up Mad Max
For stealing my tracks
Rhymes as sharp as seven thumb tacks
My friends have hairy backs
They all wear dress slacks
Moshing in the pit listening to Anthrax
Take my Zantac's
When I eat Apple Jacks
Too many Big Macs
And scrapple at Hack's
I just want the facts
Playing with Gak
Learn to golf watching Caddyshack
My favorite show is Brak's
Favorite mammals are yaks
I hate smoke stacks so I sent 'em a fax
A bunch of dumb hacks
Try and hijack
Running 'round town like a bunch of slee sacks
They can lick my sacks
Hippies wear backpacks
My doctors are all quacks
But they got big racks
I'm kicking ass cracks
I think I got the knack
I got more beats than Weinberg comma max
Watching 3-2-1 contacts
Playing Mr. and Mrs. Pac
Selling my home thanks to Remax
Watching my own movie on
My own IMAX
T to the J to the M to the axx
And if you can't spell
That's TJ MAXXX